John

This is the first book that I read
after becoming a Christian.

When I mentioned this to a friend,
he replied that he wouldn’t recommend this
to a new Christian because of the way it begins:

“In the beginning was the word,
and the word was with God,
and the word was God.”

huh?

I realized that I had simply skipped over this verse
not knowing what it meant.

I don’t understand THE WORD

Then I heard a story
about a Greek philosopher
named Heraclitus of Ephesus
who lived around 500 B.C.

He said
“you can’t step into the same river twice”
because
by the time you take the second step,
you have changed
and
the waters have changed.

He saw a world in constant flux,
but
even though the waters are always changing
and you are always changing
you are still you
and the river is still a river
He saw an underlying organizing principle
behind it all
that he called
“LOGOS”

Logos is the “word” used three times
in John’s first verse
(in the original Greek manuscripts).

Does the verse have more meaning
if it is written by replacing the word “logos”
with its definitions?

“In the beginning was the manifested thought,
and the motive/reason was with God,
and the organizing principle was God.”

I think I am starting to understand the verse now.

-=-=-

Reading furthur,

John 1:14
The Word became flesh,
and lived among us.
We saw his glory,
such glory as of the one and only
Son of the Father,
full of grace and truth.

The meaning is even more profound

John 1

This seems heavy,
mystifying to me.
These first few verses through 18
make such powerful statements
I cannot even comprehend.

I read this chapter about two weeks ago
and the beginning just blew me away.
Then last week I sat down to write about it,
but when I re-read these verses,
it didn't have the same impact on me.
Now I read it for the third time,
and I am again amazed.

Why do I sometimes "get it",
and feel affected by it,
and other times
I don't get much meaning or impact at all?

I think part of the answer might be
that these proclaimations seem so different in tone
than the last three books I have read.
It almost seems like poetry,
(or is prose the better term?)
but if you BELIEVE the proclaimations,
or at least try to imagine what it means
if it is ALL TRUE,
then it is wildly bold.
mind blowing.

At least right now.
(next week might be a different reaction)

I could spend awhile
trying to wrap my mind around a statement like

Joh 1:4
In Him was life,
and the life was the light of men.

the life was the light of men?

that is a cool thing to say,
but can you enlighten me a little more?

Joh 1:9
He was the true Light;
He enlightens every man coming into the world.

I'm beginning to understand what it means
to live an "enlightened" life.
Right now I'm generally at the point
where I realize
how much I don't have it
or at least I can't maintain it for long.

I seem to have brief periods of lucidity
and then droop back
into my typical "comfortably numb" existence

The problem is...
even when I realize how much better it is for me,
to spend
my time
and thoughts
and energy
on the things that bring joy to a life
like love
and service
Sometimes I suddenly wake up and realize
I haven't been doing it

It reminds me of when I was a heavy smoker.
All along (20 a day for 20 years)
I always knew
that it was better not to smoke.
that it was killing me
and actually had no benefit AT ALL
except some twisted kind of self-gratification
Being a smoker is not a happy thing
deep down inside
so why did I stay like that for so long?

Joh 1:12
But as many as received Him,
He gave to them authority
to become the children of God,
to those who believe on His name,

That is what I want to be!
A child of God!
Yes, this is where I want to be

Joh 1:14
And the Word became flesh,
and tabernacled among us.
And we beheld His glory,
the glory as of the only begotten
of the Father,
full of grace and of truth.

grace and truth
I can get behind THAT.

Joh 1:16
And out of His fullness
we all have received,
and grace for grace.
Joh 1:17
For the Law came through Moses,
but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

I really do believe these things.

I just can't figure out why I choose to drop away.
It just makes me miserable.

I guess if I was going to pray for anything
for myself,
it would be to keep me thinking clearly
in this way.
.

John 2

I just re-read what I wrote last time.
Everything I was feeling
revolved around just a few verses.
Now I see I skipped most of the chapter.
The whole John the Baptist story,
and the collecting of the disciples
will just have to wait
until I cycle around
through the entire New Testament again.

When I started this project
I planned to plow through
three to five chapters per week,
then it slowed down to a single chapter a week,
and now
I think I could spend weeks on just one chapter!

a year from now
will I be pacing myself at 2-3 VERSES a week?
ha.

I've met pastors that can talk for an hour
on ONE verse,
but that ain't me. (yet)

so I'm gonna keep movin' on,

so here I am in chapter 2 ....

-=-=-=-

I have a Life Application Bible
It has a lot of notes,
One of the notes says
there are NO PARABLES in the book of John.

no parables?

Could that be true?

The last three Gospels had LOTS of parables.
How could an entire gospel be written
without a single one?
It seems like at least ONE would have slipped in.

which makes their absence
seem deliberate.

Then,
The first miracle in chapter two,
is also not found in the other gospels!

What could these discrepancies mean?

Well,
I know some people consider them
as proof that the accounts are not reliable
since they don't agree.
but in my mind,
there is so much RIGHT about the gospels
that millions of men before me
have found them to be reliable enough.
Since even the indisputable parts
are already more than enough for me,
(so much so
that I can barely even scratch the surface),
it is no stretch of the imagination for me
to believe that these difference
contain a deeper meaning
that I just haven't gotten to yet.

at least I'm leaving that possibility open for now
and moving on.

I was wondering
what I was even gonna WRITE about this chapter
which is WHY I put this off for two weeks,
because everyone knows the story
of how Jesus turned water into wine
and
that he drove the money-changers
out of the temple.

I've heard those stories since I was a kid,
what is there to add to it?

The only thing that struck me was that
first he says he's not ready
his mother didn't argue with him
but simply told everyone to do whatever he said

Joh 2:4
Jesus said to her,
Woman, what do I have to do with you?
My hour has not yet come.
Joh 2:5
His mother said to the servants,
Whatever He says to you, do it.

(an elegant way to avoid an argument with your son?)
and then he did it anyway.

Did his hour suddenly come?
Was this really the first time he ever did anything miraculous?

If so, I can't imagine he would have the confidence,
to send the jugs out
without even checking them!
He didn't even LOOK!

Joh 2:7
Jesus said to them,
Fill the waterpots with water.
And they filled them up to the brim.
Joh 2:8
And He said to them,
Now draw out
and carry it to the master of the feast.
And they carried it.
Joh 2:9
When the ruler of the feast had tasted
the water which was made wine...

now THAT'S confidence!
I would've had a little taste first.
just to be sure.
Can't embarrass Mom in front of the town, ya know...

Anyway, that's about as far as I got two weeks ago.

He changed water into wine.
He drove them from the temple.

-=-=-=-

THEN I listened to a talk
from one of my favorite teachers....
(Ray to the rescue!)
http://www.raystedman.org/mp3/3837.mp3
http://www.raystedman.org/mp3/index.html

I don't know if it was exactly what he said
or just what I thought about while he talked
(I guess a good teacher makes ya' think, right?)
but I suddenly have a whole new perspective:

Joh 2:14
And He found in the temple
those who sold oxen and sheep and doves,
and the money-changers sitting.
Joh 2:15
And when He had made a scourge of small cords,
He drove them all out of the temple,
also the sheep and the oxen.
And He poured out the money-changers' money
and overthrew the tables.

I have this mental picture of Jesus
Kind and quiet
Humble and merciful
encouraging.
a gentle man.
And I have this impression
that no matter how bad I have been
if Jesus was to come into my modst,
He would lift me up.
Lend a helping hand.
Tell me everything's gonna be alright.

but whoa!

Chasing people out of the TEMPLE with a whip?

That's not so gentle and understanding, is it?

Would he chase ME away with a whip?

Yeah. probably.

These people were WORKING in the CHURCH.
The good guys.
Helping people get their sacrifices in order
They were probably feeling pretty good about themsleves,
and the services they were performing.
for God.

Then God shows up and overturns everything?

ouch.
shocking.
unexpected outrageous outrage

Do you think he was really mad at those people?
Or just trying to make a point?
If you think about it,
He didn't really break any laws
He didn't really break anything,
or take anything
or cause damage,
He just scattered animals
and spilled coins
and tumped tables

Kind of cool that he could do such a radical thing
and not get nailed for it
(at least not immediately)
What could they do to him?
charge him for making a mess?

(oooh, using the word "nailed" is ominous foreshadowing, eh? I'm tempted to edit that out,
but now I wonder where the expression "nailed" came from. could it be?
I'll leave it and offer an apology for my tactlessness)

Anyway, I wonder what the disciples were thinking
as they witnessed this acting out.
Were they outwardly smiling?
Keeping a straight face but inwardly cheering him on?
recoiling in horror?
trying to blend in to the background?
Questioning what they had associated themselves with?

Imagine you were a simple fisherman,
and got called by a complete stranger to "follow"
and were just starting to believe and gain confidence,
and then the stranger suddenly attacks the temple???
The most respected institution in the country?
How would you react?

Later on he refers to his own body as a temple.

Joh 2:21
But He spoke of the temple of His body

Is MY body a temple?
What happens
when he sees how I am handling my own temple?
Probably not smiles and hugs and a pat on the back.

No, I'm predicting that scourge

Joh 2:17
And His disciples remembered that it was written,
"The zeal of Your house has eaten Me up."

(There's still time to clean, thank God)
.

John 3

For the rest of my life,
whenever I'm reading this chapter
I will remember something that happened
right after I became a christian.
I had just finished reading this chapter
when I decided to try a new church one Sunday morning,
and so I walked into the room
not knowing anyone,
and coincidentally the pastor talked for nearly an hour
about Nicodemus.
The very same chapter I had just finished.

I was blown away.

First by the coincidence,
and secondly by the fact that when I was reading to myself
I didn't get any real meaning of it,
but after hearing him talk about it in detail
I was filled with meaning.

Yeah, I mean full.
A full head.
Have you ever felt like that?
that your brain is totally occupied
and can't take any more in?

Well anyway... I'll never forget that experience.

So Nicodemus is this Jewish Pharisee,
a ruler of the Jews, and

Joh 3:2
He came to Jesus by night and said to Him,
Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God;
for no man can do these miracles which you do
unless God is with him.
Joh 3:3
Jesus answered and said to him,
Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a man is born again,
he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Whoa... stop right there.

There is something about these two verses together
that seems foreign to me.
This is the first time these two have met.
The word has gotten around about Jesus
and everything I have heard about the Pharisees
were the things Jesus says about them in public.
He seems so disappointed in them,
(if not downright angry)
even though they are some of the most well respected
citizens of society.
These are People that people look up to
or at least look to for guidance.
the wise men.

So one of these high Jews
comes at night as a stranger
and says
"We know you are from God".

wow.

Now what if I just stopped right there and asked myself
"What would Jesus say?"

Hmmm, what would Jesus say?
"Nice to meet you, thanks for coming.
I'm glad you recognize me for who I am.
Can I get you some tea?
Nice weather we're having, huh?
Please have a seat. Where are you from?"

no, he doesn't waste much time on chit-chat

I'm amazed at the depth shared at this first meeting
He says
"Truly, Truly, a man needs to be born again
to see the kingdom of God".
Gosh, that's kinda deep. We just met, after all.

He goes on to elaborate:

Joh 3:4
Nicodemus said to Him,
How can a man be born when he is old?
Can he enter the second time
into his mother's womb and be born?
Joh 3:5
Jesus answered,
Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a man is born of water and the Spirit,
he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Joh 3:6
That which is born of the flesh is flesh,
and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

Another Truly Truly.
Would Jesus share his Truly Trulys with everyone?
Did he speak to the disciples in the same way?
Or do you have to seek him out
and ASK
to get these truths.
What if no one had asked?
These seem like crucial secrets
the keys to the whole plan.

Are there other secrets we don't know about
because few people had these deep one-on-one
conversations with him?
Or did, but didn't write it down?
In a way, I think not.

Did people always speak to each other this way
back then?
I don't get in that many deep conversations
with anyone these days.
Are people around me having deep conversations
just not with me?
I can't remember the last time I had a deep conversation
with anyone other than my wife.
Maybe its me.

Or maybe its Him.

If you were face to face with him right now
(or alone with him in the middle of the night)
what would you ask him?
Are there missing truths that could help us
if we only knew them?
What is not clear enough?
Maybe I'm a babe in the woods,
but I think I have what I need to make it

Here's another deep thought:

Joh 3:19
And this is the condemnation,
that the Light has come into the world,
and men loved darkness rather than the Light,
because their deeds were evil.
Joh 3:20
For everyone who does evil hates the Light,
and does not come to the Light,
lest his deeds should be exposed.
Joh 3:21
But he who practices truth comes to the Light
so that his works may be revealed,
that they exist, having been worked in God.

Man, I just don't hear people talking like that.

I just glanced back at the beginning of this,
and now I realize I started writing about meaning
and then I got distracted
by the depth of conversation they had
instead of the meaning of it.

but now I'm getting tired.

Joh 3:17
For God did not send His Son into the world
to condemn the world,
but so that the world might be saved through Him.

That's Good News.

John 4

Not much comes to me after reading this chapter
about the samaritan woman at the well.

One thing about it seems clear,
that Jesus didn't come just to save the Jews.
He shares the same good news

Joh 4:14
but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him
shall never thirst,
but the water that I shall give him
shall be in him a well of water
springing up into everlasting life.

I notice he doesn't mention being born again,
like he immediately instructed Nicodemus.
Did Jesus fine-tune his messages
depending on who he was talking to?

Interesting that when he was talking about being born again
to Nicodemus,
he differentiated between being born by blood
and being born by water,

Joh 3:5
Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a man is born of water and the Spirit,
he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Joh 3:6
That which is born of the flesh is flesh,
and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

and here he is talking about water again!

Joh 4:15
The woman said to Him,
Sir, give me this water,
so that I may not thirst...

I don't know how much to make of that similarity.
but...
Since he said different things to different people,
seeming to know what they needed to hear,
I wonder what he would have said to me?
and if I would be prepared to hear it.

Sometimes I almost turn a deaf ear and hope NOT to hear,
like I have some kind of internal
comfortably-numb off switch.
because I don't want to have to make the sacrifice
that I know whatever he said would suggest to my life
So maybe deep down I DO know what he would say,
but the fact that he hasn't said it out loud right to me
gives me an escape to avoid it for awhile...
...or maybe I'm just fooling myself.

ok, let's change that subject!

I think its interesting that maybe this woman has seen the light,
and is wondering what is the next step,
Since if she believes Jesus,
and Jesus worships in the temple,
and the Samaritans don't.
so she asks where she should worship.
And what he says is kinda cool.

Joh 4:21
Jesus said to her,
Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming
when you shall neither
worship the Father in this mountain
nor yet at Jerusalem.
(skipped a verse)
Joh 4:23
But the hour is coming, and now is,
when the true worshipers
shall worship the Father in spirit and truth,
for the Father seeks such to worship Him.
Joh 4:24
God is a spirit,
and they who worship Him
must worship in spirit and in truth.

So what that says to me,
is that God is for anyone.
It doesn't matter where you worship.
The time "now is",
when its not about the institution you belong to,
its about those who worship in spirit and truth.
He seeks such.

That makes it a lot more personal.
I don't even worship,
I just talk about it.
(Note to Self: Drink more Water.)

And because the woman went and testified
others asked him to stay a bit longer in Samaria
And he stayed there two days

Joh 4:41
And many more believed because of His own word.

like a revival.
living water.
.

John 5

Wow, another chapter about WATER.
This CAN'T be a coincidence, can it?

Joh 5:2
Now there is a pool
at the Sheep Gate at Jerusalem,
which is called in Hebrew Bethesda,
having five porches.
Joh 5:3
In these lay a great multitude of those

who were sick, of blind, lame, withered,
waiting for the moving of the water.
Joh 5:4
For an angel went down at a certain time
into the pool and troubled the water.
Then whoever first stepped in
after the troubling of the water
was made whole of whatever disease he had.

I hope verse 4 is simply an unfounded belief,
instead of the actual truth.
To think that angels actually come down
and stir something in the physical world
on a regular basis
to offer some desired result
just boggles my mind.

but now that I think about it,
angels are mentioned in other parts of scripture.
Doesn't it say somewhere that a great battle
is going on behind the scenes
that we are not aware of?
I'm gonna have to do a study of angels someday...

Anyway, I can't imagine there would be a sound reason
for providing healing
to the first (and only the first) person to hit the pool
after the angelic whistle blows.
What would be the point?

It seems like Jesus would have said something meaningful
to the crowd that hovered around the pool.

-=-=-=-

Ok, I've been thinking about this for MINUTES now,
and after all this reflection (grin)
I really have a question about this.
These people have got it into their heads
that they can be healed at this one particular spot
if they just wait for the water to be "troubled" by an angel.
And then they race to see who can soak up the free gift first.
Is this an early recorded example
of crowds mobbing to the scene of some religious happening?
Its says there was "a great multitude".
Like the media coverage we see today
when someone notices what looks like
an image of Jesus's face on a piece of toast?
or statues that cry?
Are these people deluded?

OR...

Maybe that is what makes faith work.
Maybe that's what faith is all about
Was the reality that since so many people BELIEVED,
it just HAD to happen?
All that faith FORCED the angel to act
to keep order in the universe?
Were these people really healed because they had faith?
It doesn't really say.

I don't know why it makes me uncomfortable
to think that scene at the pool was the way to be.
Jesus healed one of them instantly.
Maybe to show that
although the belief was CAUSING the desired result,
the same result was available by other means?
After all, in other parts of scripture
lotsa people get healed.
In all kinds of different ways.
In fact, maybe no two are the same.
I should research that too...
go through all of Jesus healings and see how they differ.

I suspect the real point is,
We can be healed.
The spirit is available
The power is available.
It's not the surroundings or circumstances that make it.
I could understand that.

Then Jesus explains the power a little bit more:

Joh 5:19
Then Jesus answered and said to them,
Truly, truly, I say to you,
The Son can do nothing of Himself
but what He sees the Father do.
For whatever things He does,
these also the Son does likewise.

He goes on to say something new to ME

Joh 5:22
For the Father judges no man,
but has committed all judgment to the Son,

now THAT is a shocker to me.
I don't think I have ever heard that before,
or if I have it didn't register itself in my mind.

I've always had the mental picture
of God sitting in the judgement seat.
When you think of being judged, don't you think of God?
Maybe it doesn't matter,
if Jesus and God are one in the same.
I'll have to let that one roll around a while
and see where it comes to rest.

I guess it all ties together in the end,
when Jesus says this about himself:

Joh 5:30
I can do nothing of My own self.
As I hear, I judge, and My judgment is just,
because I do not seek My own will,
but the will of the Father who has sent Me.

and I just stumbled over another "truly truly"
that seems ultra-powerful to me

Joh 5:24
Truly, truly, I say to you,
He who hears My Word and believes on Him who sent Me
has everlasting life
and shall not come into condemnation,
but has passed from death to life.

Maybe its a mistake to try to rank verses,
and label some as more important to others;
but if I could take only ten verses to a desert island,
that would probably be one of them.

I probably WON'T be taking this one along.

Joh 5:42
But I know you,
that you do not have the love of God in you.

ouch.
.

John 6

This is one of those chapters that just doesn't seem fun to me.

It has two bible stories that I have heard my whole life.
over and over
Jesus fed the crowd with loaves and fishes.
Jesus walked on water.
(water again. Jesus had a special relationship with water, didn't he?)
maybe with everything...

Anyway,
I can't escape the childhood memories I have of these stories,
I can almost see the cartoons in my head.

Even now, I can hardly give them more meaning
than they had when I was a kid,
because with the foundation of belief I have now
(that science and religion and physics and faith can co-exist)
these events just seem like magic.

I can't fit them into my rational worldview.
So I will just leave them alone for now

Jesus fed thousands with five loaves and two fish.
They saw Jesus walking on the sea.

One thing seems logical, though.
These claims seem so outlandish
that no one in their right mind could make them up!
Who would believe it?
If someone was going to invent things
to promote Jesus,
they probably wouldn't make up a story
with 5000 witnesses, would they?

But how could this have really happened?
What was the reason of it?
Are there people in the world today
who hear these things and gain faith?
They really become stronger christians
by knowing about these miracles?
No matter how impossible they seem?

I know God works in mysterious ways,
but what was the point of walking on water?
Did Jesus even think anything of it?
Did he realize he was doing anything special?
Was he just going from point A to point B
forgetting that most of us couldn't do it that way?
Or was there a lesson he was hoping we would see?
I missed it.

Now, its gonna be really interesting,
(or maybe embarrassing)
if I go find a bible study about this chapter
and suddenly my eyes are opened.
ha.
That would be fine, though.
For the record:
I will cheerfully accept looking foolish in hindsight
if it means I gain a better understanding in the long run.

Well, I found something later on in the chapter
that I think is really interesting,

Joh 6:28
They said therefore to him,
"What must we do,
that we may work the works of God?"
Joh 6:29
Jesus answered them,
"This is the work of God,
that you believe in him whom he has sent."

Great question!
They just asked him point blank
"What should we do?"
and the work couldn't be easier.
"Believe"
or maybe that is deceptively simple to say
and hard to do?
Am I that naive?

He also stresses something that he already said in the last chapter

Joh 6:32
Jesus therefore said to them,
"Most certainly, I tell you,
it wasn't Moses who gave you the bread out of heaven,
but my Father gives you the true bread out of heaven.

and another related one

Joh 6:38
For I have come down from heaven,
not to do my own will,
but the will of him who sent me.

I never realized how often he points to God.
I mean I know he always points us toward God,
but he almost seems to be saying
that even though he is the savior
and is from God
and is a ultimately most special guy the world has ever seen
the power is still from God.

after reading that last verse,
another thought came into my head
that was kinda squirmy.
Just about EVERYTHING I do is MY own will.
hmmmm....

At the end of the chapter,
he is teaching in the synagogue,
and it gets pretty deep,
and this time I know its not just me,
because some fall away from him right then.
He says:

Joh 6:54
He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood
has eternal life,
and I will raise him up at the last day.
Joh 6:55
For my flesh is food indeed,
and my blood is drink indeed.
Joh 6:56
He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood
lives in me,
and I in him.
Joh 6:57
As the living Father sent me,
and I live because of the Father;
so he who feeds on me,
he will also live because of me.

after some "murmering",
Jesus announces that some of his disciples don't believe,
and

Joh 6:66
At this, many of his disciples went back,
and walked no more with him.

weird, that verse is 6:66, huh?
Well, I am trying to reconcile
my early Catholic memories of communion
with what I have been learning recently.
but it's hard.
Is there a difference between "breaking bread" in his name,
and eating his flesh?
Are these just expressions?

I think I would be murmering too,
but I sure wouldn't want to be one of those
who "walked no more with him".

well, this chapter was kind of a bust for me.
This might be one of those times
that I should seek some teachin'
from people who know more than I.

I'm off to the commentaries....
.

John 7

Joh 7:1
After these things, Jesus was walking in Galilee,
for he wouldn't walk in Judea,
because the Jews sought to kill him.

What a way to start a chapter,
Did I miss something?

turning back a page or two
trying to remember why they sought to kill him...

Oh yeah, in chapter 6
Jesus really puts himself on the stand
by claiming to be the bread of life,
and making strong statements about himself
like:

Joh 6:40
This is the will of the one who sent me,
that everyone who sees the Son,
and believes in him,
should have eternal life;
and I will raise him up at the last day.

and

Joh 6:47
Most certainly, I tell you,
he who believes in me has eternal life.

I can see what got them all stirred up!
The will kill him for blasphemy, right?

nope.

For reasons I don't understand,
what really got them upset
was the fact that he healed a man on the sabbath.

Healing on the Sabbath? DEATH!
Claiming to be the path to God?
hmmm... ok.

but these verses seem to clearly indicate
that it was the healing that got them
mobbin up for a lynchin

Joh 7:19
Didn't Moses give you the law,
and yet none of you keeps the law?
Why do you seek to kill me?"
Joh 7:20
The multitude answered,
"You have a demon!
Who seeks to kill you?"
Joh 7:21
Jesus answered them,
"I did one work,
and you all marvel because of it.
Joh 7:22
Moses has given you circumcision
(not that it is of Moses, but of the fathers),
and on the Sabbath you circumcise a boy.
Joh 7:23
If a boy receives circumcision on the Sabbath,
that the law of Moses may not be broken,
are you angry with me,
because I made a man completely healthy
on the Sabbath?

That strikes me as supreme irony,
that it was the act of helping someone
that triggers such a negative reaction

Joh 7:30
They sought therefore to take him;
but no one laid a hand on him,
because his hour had not yet come.

The thought crossed my mind
that I would've liked to witness that event.
I have a mental picture of them trying to grab him
and Jesus somehow slipping away.
(Maybe its my love of the movies,
the suspense, the drama, the excitement)
but looking up the Greek word for "sought"
(#2212) it seems that it means more like
they "plotted" or "desired" to arrest him,
but didn't.
(slightly more boring as far as movie scenes go,
but probably more accurate)

Speaking of my mental misperceptions...

Jesus' brothers are mentioned several times
in this chapter. Here's the shortest one:

Joh 7:5
For His brothers did not believe in Him.

Every time I hear of "his brothers"
my brain does a little back flip.
I guess I just grew up thinking that
Jesus was an only child,
I just can't imagine him having brothers and sisters.

and you know what's funny?
When I first read about his brothers last week,
my first thought
(after the brain flip of course)
was to ask myself this question;
"I wonder if he was the youngest?"
I don't know why I thought that,
but it took me a couple of seconds to realize
that he had to be the OLDEST
because of the virgin Mary thing.

So HEY!
That's a bona fide Bible interpretation, isn't it?
I figured out all by myself
that Jesus was the eldest based on scripture.

but I still can't picture him as an older brother.

I wonder if he was virtually normal
until John saw the spirit descending on him
like a dove.
The whole last chapter he has been saying
how nothing comes from Him,
it comes THROUGH him from God.
but from God.
Could he have been just a normal child?
Maybe none of that was appparent in his childhood
because the spirit wasn't upon him yet.

and then I read

Joh 7:39
(But He spoke this about the Spirit,
which they who believed on Him should receive;
for the Holy Spirit was not yet given,
because Jesus was not yet glorified.)

So does this mean Jesus had the spirit
but no one else?
Or that the spirit was "not yet"
(that would blow my whole "spirit" theory)
Some translations say
"not yet given"
or
"not yet present"
or
"not yet"

and those three imply different things in my mind.
not yet - might mean it doesn't even exist yet,
not yet present - allows the possibility that it could exist,
but maybe not among them
not yet given - allows the possibility that Jesus had it
but no one else.

I wish I knew which of those were closest to the truth

.

John 8

Joh 8:3
The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman
taken in adultery.
Joh 8:4
Having set her in the midst, they told him,
"Teacher, we found this woman in adultery,
in the very act."

Regarding sins of the flesh, I want to remember this quote:

[QUOTE]
From Mere Christianity, by C. S. Lewis
If anyone thinks that Christians regard unchastity
(sexual sin) as the supreme vice, he is quite wrong.
The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least
bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely
spiritual. The pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing and spoiling sport, and backbiting; the pleasures of power, of hatred.
For there are two things inside me...
they are the animal self and the diabolical self;
and the diabolical self is the worst of the two.
That is why a cold self-righteous prig who goes
regularly to church may be far nearer to hell
than a prostitute. But of course it is better
to be neither!
[/QUOTE]

The fact that C.S.Lewis mentioned the word prostitute
led me to the Harmony
http://www.hjg.com.ar/ce/resumi.html
to search the other gospels for this verse
because I wanted to find out
whether they referred to this woman
as a prostitute
or as an adultress.
In my mind, those two labels are quite different.

I was trying to put myself in the shoes of another.
What if I found myself in an arranged marriage?
A marriage of covenience?
or status?
or wealth?
or to meld two families together for power?
And then...
What if I actually fell in love with someone else?
Someone that I WOULD have married
had the decision not been made for me?
And what if I gave in to that love,
and betrayed my legal spouse?
Are there sins of love?

The paragraph by Lewis implies
that some sins are worse than others.
I don't want to go down that road,
trying to judge sins, ordering them in ranks.
I don't think that is a good thing to attempt.

But I would think that a greed-based sin
(like prostitution)
would be worse than a love-based sin
(like adultery)
but the commandments specifically mention one
and not the other.
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

kinda makes me go hmmmm....

but you know what I found
when I searched the Harmony of the Gospels?
None of the others mention this event.
http://www.hjg.com.ar/ce/c08i.html#ss19
In fact,
I am astonished how different the gospel of John is
from the others.
This entire chapter is not mentioned in the other three,
nor was the LAST chapter.
nor are the next THREE chapters!
(except where he says Jesus traveled beyond the Jordan in John 10:40, which is documented in others)

I'm amazed to discover
how different John's gospel is
from the gospels I have already been studying.
I guess I just didn't realize it until now.

"Onward through the fog..."
(as Oat Willie used to say)

-=-=-=-

oops, my "fog" doesn't blend well with
what I consider to be
the highlight of this chapter:

Joh 8:12
Then Jesus spoke again to them, saying,
I am the Light of the world.
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,
but shall have the light of life.

back to "following" mode...
.

John 9

This chapter, in just a verse or two,
describes the healing of a man who was blind from birth
and the rest of the chapter explores the IMPLICATIONS of it.

Before Jesus restored the man's sight
he made a statement that is ultra-significant to me,
although I tend to forget it at times in my personal life.

Joh 9:2
And His disciples asked Him, saying, Master,
who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?
Joh 9:3
Jesus answered,
Neither has this man nor his parents sinned,
but that the works of God
might be revealed in him.

Interesting
that the disciples had already narrowed it down to a choice,
either that:
The blindness was a result of the man's sin,
or
The blindness was a result of his parent's sin
but Jesus plainly says, Neither of those is true.
(Not that neither of them had ever sinned,
but that the blindness was not caused by it)

Recently I heard a preacher speaking about the victims of the tsunami,
as if "God was pouring out his wrath upon them for their inequities".
(if that is true, I hate to think what wrath is in store for us!)

But I don't believe that.
If I am interpreting these verses correctly,
then deformity and calamity and unfortunate accidents
are more a matter of OPPORTUNITY than RETRIBUTION.

Yes, there are stories in the Old Testament
about God pouring out his wrath in one way or another,
sometimes wiping out entire communities.
But it is my personal belief
that when Jesus said "It is finished"
he meant that the preparation was complete,
and that from that point on
the world would unwind however it unwinds,
and that all people,
even deformed or crippled or retarded or born into poverty
or victims of greed and hate;
ALL would have the same access,
and the same chance to "make it".

It isn't the EVENTS that happen,
or the physical CIRCUMSTANCES,
its how we RESPOND to them that matters in the long run.

So how did everyone react to this miracle?
hmmm...

Joh 9:16
Therefore some of the Pharisees said,
This man is not from God,
because he does not keep the sabbath.
Others said,
How can a man, a sinner, do such miracles?
And there was a division among them.

In verse 5 Jesus claimed to be the light of the world,
but his presence is causing division.
(even in those who were thought to be closest to God!)
The Pharisees questioned the the man who was blind,
and he replied:

Joh 9:31
But we know that God does not hear sinners,
but if anyone is God-fearing and does His will,
He hears him.
Joh 9:32
From everlasting it was not heard
that anyone opened the eyes
of one who was born blind.
Joh 9:33
If this One were not of God, He could do nothing.
Joh 9:34
They answered and said to him,
You were altogether born in sins,
and do you teach us?
And they cast him out.

They cast him out?

After questioning him and his parents (and from the crowd)
it was obvious and undeniable that a miracle occured,
yet they cast him out?
What did HE do wrong?

From what I find in the commentaries,
being cast out was NOT a cool thing back then.
(you can't even approach your own wife!)

Among the Jews there were two grades of excommunication; the one for lighter offences, of which they mentioned 24 causes; the other for greater offences. The first excluded a man for 30 days from the privilege of entering a synagogue, and from coming nearer to his wife or friends than 4 cubits. The other was a solemn exclusion forever from the worship of the synagogue, attended with awful maledictions and curses, and an exclusion from all contact with the people. This was called the curse, and so thoroughly excluded the person from all communion whatever with his countrymen, that they were not allowed to sell to him anything, even the necessaries of life (Buxtorf). It is probable that this latter punishment was what they intended to inflict if anyone should confess that Jesus was the Messiah

So is this the first time in the New Testament
where someone was persecuted for his belief?
I think so...

Joh 9:35
Jesus heard that they had cast him out;
and finding him, He said to him,
Do you believe on the Son of God?
Joh 9:36
And he answered and said,
Who is He, Lord, that I might believe on Him?
Joh 9:37
And Jesus said to him,
You have both seen Him,
and it is He who is speaking with you.
Joh 9:38
And he said, Lord, I believe.
And he worshiped Him.
Joh 9:39
And Jesus said,
I have come into this world for judgment,
that they who do not see might see,
and that they who see might be made blind.

This second encounter surely had a more profound effect
on the man's future than the one which he is known for.

Praise God that this second encounter is available to all of us.
.

John 10

This whole chapter is about the Good Shepherd.

I couldn't remember if Jesus had been presented this way
in any of the other gospels,
so I searched the whole New Testament for the word "Shepherd"...

nope.

This parable is unique.
(There are a couple of other uses of the word shepherd,
like "He was moved with compassion toward them,
because they were like sheep without a shepherd",
but nothing like what I am finding here in chapter 10)

Its a comfort to hear the good news, isn't it?

Joh 10:11
I am the Good Shepherd.
The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

and

Joh 10:9
I am the door.
If anyone enters in by Me,
he shall be saved
and shall go in and out and find pasture.

and I'm assuming this one is for the gentiles like me:

Joh 10:16
And I have other sheep who are not of this fold.
I must also lead those,
and they shall hear My voice,
and there shall be one flock, one Shepherd.

and even better

Joh 10:27
My sheep hear My voice,
and I know them,
and they follow Me.
Joh 10:28
And I give to them eternal life,
and they shall never ever perish,
and not anyone shall pluck them out of My hand.

sounds cool.
there's a plan.
its out of my hands.
the future is in better hands than mine.
and WHAT A PROMISE, eh?
not anyone shall pluck them out of My hand.

ok, that's the easy part.
It would be So nice to just stop there.
To rest in the care of the Shepherd.

but He says something else that makes me wonder

Joh 10:4
And when he puts forth his own sheep,
he goes before them, and the sheep follow him.
For they know his voice.
Joh 10:5
And they will not follow a stranger,
but will flee from him,
for they do not know the voice of strangers.

well, hmmm
It seems to me that christians are always following strangers
and getting into trouble.

From the first century through today,
you can find one case after another
of people who thought they were on the right path
only to find they had been led astray.

So it sounds so easy to read that
"my sheep know my voice"
but with only about a second of reflection on that statement
you have to conclude that an awful lot of christians
weren't really his sheep after all?

that's scary.

How many are just fooling themselves,
or more accurately, are being fooled?
by a wolf?

Maybe for a few who are already in the fold,
the ones in the midst of the true flock,
those blessed to be hearing the shepherd's voice,
maybe for them,
all is bliss and peace.
and they will be led to pasture

but how to be sure?

Do we have to hear the voice with a critical ear?
Should we be a little skeptical?
Or be the trusting mindless sheep?

You know, when I was younger
I used to make fun of people who I thought were sheep.
I had a lot of disdain for people who don't think for themselves.
(hmmm... had? maybe I still do HAVE that feeling)

So I guess I have something to pray about.
I think there is something I don't understand
about the difference between being a trusting member of the flock,
and an inquisitive reasoning explorer

where is the balance between heart and mind?
.

John 11

LAZARUS is BACK!

but I had the same nagging question
that I felt the last time I read this story.

Why interfere with nature?

I couldn't understand why He would do it.
For whatever reason, it was time for Lazarus to go.
Otherwise, he wouldna went.

So when God takes a man,
shouldn't he stay gone?
Jesus brings him back.

Joh 11:44
And he who had died came out,
bound hand and foot with sheets,
and his face was bound with a cloth.
Jesus said to them, Untie him and let him go!

but now that I think about it,
we are interfering with nature all the time.
There are lots of killers in the world,
lots of different ways to die.
We try earnestly,
determined to prolong life,
cure diseases,
heal the wounded,
enable the crippled.

So maybe its not saying no to "God's Plan",
to take Lazarus back for awhile.

Did Jesus HAVE to do this?
Was it some prophecy that had to be fulfilled?
to prove that the messiah had power
over life and death?
Maybe there is something behind the scenes
that everything added up to this event
to glorify God?

I don't know my history,
but maybe Jesus needed to prove this.

Or maybe it wasn't necessary to reverse Lazarus
to fulfill something,
Maybe it was more like a celebration
that ultimate power was available on earth.
Maybe the point of it
was to announce to the world
that nothing is impossible.

Think about it....

What is the most impossible task you can imagine?
What is the most astounding thing ever?
What would most blow your mind
of all the challenges ever thought of?
What is the absolute pinnacle of power?

I have never considered that until this day.

but the more I think about it,
my answer would be bringing forth life.
Has any scientist in history ever succeeded
in bringing even one single cell to life?
Even knowing everything about how a cell works,
DNA and proteins and amino acids and whatever
Having all the ingredients in all the right proportions,
and applying whatever stimulus we can think of
to give it the spark of life.
It hasn't been done.
And if it had, you would of heard about it!

nope.

No matter how much we learn about life,
I don't think anyone
will ever bring anything
to life.
EVER.

We see things come to life all the time.
babies are born and seeds grow.
So yes we can keep life going,
but it had to start from somewhere.
What we witness is just another link in the chain.

Jesus took an old decomposing body
with a stench no one could tolerate,
and restored it.

I think there is nothing more grand than that.

Joh 11:25
Jesus said to her,
I am the Resurrection and the Life!
He who believes in Me, though he die,
yet he shall live.
Joh 11:26
And whoever lives and believes in Me
shall never die.
Do you believe this?

If I ever get to meet Lazarus,
I would like to know how it felt.
Did he feel "like death warmed over"?
Or was he fully restored?

perfect vision?
acute hearing?
food tastes better?
run faster?
jump higher?

Imagine if every cell was healthy,
every system running smoothly,
in balance
the way its supposed to be.
Wouldn't that feel good?

Being the decrepit 47-year-old that I am,
falling apart after years of neglect and abuse,
I almost can't even imagine that.
.

for next time:
1) Mary and Martha asked the same question
to Jesus in 11:21 and 11:32,
but he answered differently.
Timing is everything?
2) How many biographies include such things
as "this man will be the death of me" in 11:16
3) 11:57 forces even the casual fan to choose sides;
follow the hope, or follow the law?

John 12

(Here's a personal note
pertaining to "life in general"
as of FEB2007)

To anyone paying attention,
it will be glaringly obvious
that I have spent an entire year
on the last five chapters.

If the current rate of slowdown continues,
it will be at least a thousand years
until I finish the New Testament,
and the amount of time needed for the Old Testament
is incalculable.

but Fear not, there is good news!

I have NOT spent the entire year on these five chapters...
In fact, I've spent hardly any time at all on them!
Why, I could pick this project up again
and crank through a few chapters a week
and be done by Christmas!

so, Where have I been?

I dunno....

Here's what I tell myself:
That,
by not creating a lot of schedules
I'm leaving myself free to be affected by God's will
by not creating a lot of rules for myself
I'll be more available to be blown into
whatever He has in store for me.

by not settling into a mainsteam dogma
I'll be more open to change.

by giving myself a lot of time
to do what I know I should do
I'm deepening my experience.

The pace isn't important, is it?

So I've been floating pleasantly at my own pace for quite awhile...
and notice I haven't gone very far.

In fact, is it even possible
that I could have drifted BACKWARDS a little bit?

One reason I can speculate on this,
is that I can look back
and read what I was writing two years ago,
and I seemed deeper back THEN.
Maybe that is the real value of this "blabbing on the bible" project.

I can look back.

The author of this one doesn't even seem like me now
http://www.frontdoor.biz/theolsons/Jack/JaxFaith/WithGod.htm

but its me.

I can remember back a lot better
by reviewing things I've written.

I've built up a little history here.
and the evidence shows
that something happened to me.
I'm not sure I've really deepened at all.

Have I shallowed?

Is shallowing when I lose my grip on reality?
and by losing "reality" I mean
my tendency to lose awareness of the fact
that this brief spark of a lifetime
is not all there is to eternity.
and I sink into the fog
of scrabbling for selfish pleasure;
wanting only to take from the world what feels good.

madness.

I usually pray to be more thankful.
to be more appreciative of all the blessings in my life
whether I feel I deserve them or not.

but today I have the urge for a new prayer.

I pray
to stray not too far from the path
yet still feel the reality of true freedom.

I pray
that I will freely choose to spend my time
on meaningful activities.

I pray
to overcome my laziness
and my constant pursuit of comfort.

I pray
to at least get back to the way I USED to be.

sad as that sounds.
.

(Here's another personal note
pertaining to "life in general"
as of DEC2007)

It's been another ten months now...
What the H*** is going on?

(hell)

Maybe that's not too far from the truth.
hell has been going on,
or whatever the appropriate word is
for drifting away from what you love.

Why do I do that?

I was thinking about this while driving
and when I pulled over, I wrote this:

-=-=-

It makes me wonder
when I realize,
there are big gaps of time
where I don't write.

Why Is That?

Even when I have realized
the benefits of keeping a journal,
I can't seem to maintain it
for very long.

Why Is That?

Last night I caught myself blurting out
"I don't want to talk about anything
unless it is Physics or Philosophy!"

When my friend called me out and replied,
"What do you want to talk about, Decartes?"
I was tired and wanted to go home.
I felt foolish about blurting out,
and then not being ready to truly participate.

But it got me thinking...

It got me wondering about thinking,

and that got me thinking about wondering.

It seems like I get too caught up in daily events
to spend much time finding meaning in them.
Maybe it sounds trite to say,
"I want everything to have a meaning"
but when I step out of the daily grind
I feel more human.

Do animals ever step out of the moment
to reflect on things?

Why Is The Sky Blue?

Is that what separates us from other life forms?
The capacity to wonder?
If so, I should strive for a sense of wonder,
to be more intensely human.

Maybe I should orchestrate ways
to make my life
more wonder-full

-=-=-=-

Ok, this place is not meant to be my personal diary,
so now I return to
reading and recording,
chapter by chapter... 01/01/08

John 12

I just read chapter 12 again,
after being away for so long.

The story up to verse 20 is one I've heard before
all my life
and in every gospel and
I don't really have a comment on it.

I could try to write passionately
about this triumphal entry,
and all the faithful hopes and prophecies
being fulfilled in this pinnacle week

I could write about that
(and maybe someday I will)
but what hits me the hardest
is the second half of the chapter
where Jesus really seems to be summing up
his entire message

I wanted to make sure I understood it
so I went to a "Harmony of the Gospels"
to compare.

http://jaxpage.net/JaxFaith/Harmony/c11i.html#ss01

Well, none of this scripture (past verse 19)
appears in any other gospel!
So, what we see here is what we get.

(side note)
That makes me wonder...
Did John hear things that other disciples didn't?
I mean, certainly they weren't
ALL together
ALL the time.
So I suppose each disciple
would have a slightly different experience.
and even with common experiences
would have slightly different interpretations
of the significance of each experience.
Wouldn't you think?
Sometimes the disciples seem clueless
about the significance,
at least until later on with the benefit of hindsight.
I wonder...
If each disciple had written a gospel account
how different would they be?
I wonder...
(end side note)

But right here in this section of chapter 12,
there are lots of "red" sentences.
and they seem pretty important.
like, REALLY important.

Joh 12:36
While you have the Light,
believe in the Light
so that you may become sons of Light...

and a "truly truly"

Joh 12:24
Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,
it abides alone;
but if it dies,
it brings forth much fruit.

We're getting "voices from heaven"

Joh 12:28
Father, glorify Your name!
Then there came a voice from the heaven saying,
I have both glorified it
and will glorify it again.

and Jesus speaking LOUDLY

Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.

I looked up the word for "cried"
to find that #2896 means scream, shriek, exclaim, cry out

This is powerful stuff!

You know what?

If Jesus meant this so much
that he would cry it out to the world,
maybe it is worth repeating, huh?
I could certainly devote enough space to repeat it.

HERE IS WHAT HE IS SCREAMING OUT TO YOU:

Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried out and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.

Joh 12:45
And he who sees Me
sees Him who sent Me.

Joh 12:46
I have come as a Light into the world,
so that whoever believes on Me
should not remain in darkness.

Joh 12:47
And if any one hears My Words
and does not believe,
I do not judge him,
for I do not come to judge the world,
but to save the world.

Joh 12:48
He who rejects Me
and does not receive My Words
has one who judges him;
the Word that I have spoken,
the same shall judge him in the last day.

Joh 12:49
For I have not spoken of Myself,
but the Father who sent Me
gave Me a command,
what I should say,
and what I should speak.

Joh 12:50
And I know that His command
is life everlasting.
Therefore whatever I speak,
even as the Father said to Me,
so I speak.

wow.

.

John 13

JOHN 13

Joh 13:1
And before the feast of the Passover,
when Jesus knew that His hour had come
when He should depart out of this world
to the Father,
having loved His own who were in the world,
He loved them to the end.

You know, sometimes I just have to be in the right frame of mind to
(even begin to)
experience the New Testament.

I visited this chapter about a week ago
and wondered what I would write about it.

Now I pick it up again
and I can barely get past the first sentence.

I think the sentence above
is one of the most unique sentences I've ever read.

It suggests a whole story just on its own,
at a depth I didn't expect
until I thought about it for a second or two...

What is the end of a perfect life?

If I knew my hour had come,
and it was time for me to leave,
if I knew I was going to God,
What would I be doing?
What would I do next?
Would I be loving my own?
Would I love them until the end?

What would YOU do next?
Would your focus be on love?

Let's read another sentence...

Joh 13:3
Jesus, knowing that the Father
had given all things into his hands,
and that he had come
from God
and was returning
to God,
he...

Do you know what Jesus did next?

Joh 13:4
He rose up from supper and...

... and I'm not gonna tell you what he did.
Its pretty easy to look up for yourself.
Joh_13:5 tells you EXACTLY what he did next.

but before you look it up,
try to imagine that you had been given all things
(everything important, anyway)
and that you knew you
from God
and that you knew you were going back
to God,
what would your frame of mind be?

What would you do next?

I probably wouldn't have thought of
doing what he did.
Not that I wouldn't do it,
I just wouldn't have thought of it.

-=-=-=-

He washed their feet.

Jesus makes an interesting statement
and I'm not sure I understand it...

Joh 13:10
Jesus told him,
"The person who has bathed does not need to wash,
except for his feet,
but is entirely clean.

It seems deeper than merely making conversation
about physically washing feet.

I'm wondering if he was suggesting
that since I have been baptised
(twice!)
there is no need to keep getting baptised
whenever I realize how unclean I am.

Maybe he is saying that even a true christian
walking through the world
gets his feet dirty every now and then.
an impure thought in the presence of a beautiful woman?
a pang of envy upon seeing a neighbor's success?
a hateful thought in a moment of frustration?

I don't know about you,
but I am quite often disappointed in myself
even to the point of wondering if I ever truly made it
into the family,
the true church.
I'm lazy,
I entertain my own selfish pleasures.
I'm weak

Even when I ask for my desires to be removed
it can't be a true repentance
because in a sense I still enjoy my wicked ways.
am I truly washed?
Do I just need a severe foot washing?
a foot washing for every moment I spend entertaining my self?

When Jesus says,

Joh 13:14
So if I, your Lord and Teacher,
have washed your feet,
you must also wash one another's feet.

is he talking about more than soap and water?
Is he talking about helping each other
out of the trips and falls and temptations?
the dirt in the world?

maybe I am reading more into it than he meant

I wish I knew more about what he meant.
I wish I had a guarantee
that I could stay partly in the world
up to my ankles in dirty feet
and still know I was part of the "in crowd"
when the last bell tolls.

Is that sick?
yeah, that's sick...

I wouldn't listen to me if I were you.
I can't be trusted.

my feet are dirty.

.

John 14

I remember sitting down to write about John 13,
and being struck by the concept of love.

I've been thinking about love since then
and as I move through John 14
love is being impressed upon me.

I noticed that this entire passage
from the end of John 13 through John 15
that the entire text is colored red.

John 15 is ENTIRELY red.

solid red.

Jesus is doing some talking here.

And in Jesus' last private moments
with his dearest friends
what did he speak about the most?
His "Father" is mentioned 33 times,
and "love" is mentioned 24 times.

at the moment, I'm hung on love.

and life

I've been thinking about life, too.

What is life and love?

life is easier.

If a seed falls to the ground
and brings forth a new life,
it must be a kind of instruction manual
for assembling common elements
into structures that support life.
Is it the structure that is alive?
or something alive in the structure?

regardless of our beliefs,
we can still wonder at the complexity of life
and its ability to make new seeds,
to perpetuate itself.

Every living cell contains the instruction manual
for creating another living cell
and almost always
(except in the case of single-celled organisms)
a method for organizing huge numbers of cells
into something greater
a self-sustaining self-repairing organism
with instincts and reflexes
and senses.
and intelligence.

that concept alone is worth a lifetime of study,
in my opinion.

and its not just one successful life-form
that has managed to accomplish such a wondrous feat.
no!
The planet is filled to the brim
with millions of individual species!
all managing in their own way.
trillions of individual organisms,
passing life
from
one generation
to
the
next.

but that's just
life.
Life is easy, compared to the next part...

What I'm trying to wrap my mind around,
is the extra spark in a special group of those organisms
that woke up to something more;
a group that gained a higher awareness.

Anyone born into it
finds the ability not only to learn,
but to accumulate knowledge and teach;
not only prepares for the future,
but can plan actions to influence it;
not only able to think
but to reason
and create
and love
What kind of a super-organism is that?

Something separates us from everything else
and we are surely responsible for that gift.

Do the others have to consider
compassion vs. power?
mercy vs. justice?
charity vs. self-preservation?
wisdom vs. foolishness?
love vs. apathy?

After you've eaten
from the tree
that provides the knowledge
of good and evil
you determine in which you are residing
at any particular moment

Joh 13:34
I am giving you a new commandment
to love one another.
Just as I have loved you,
you also should love one another.
Joh 13:35
This is how everyone will know
that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another."

love
or not.

either way, you've chosen.

(I'm not so good at it, myself.)

peace be with you.

Joh 14:4
You know where I am going,
and you know the way."

John 15

For me, the rubber hits the road in this chapter.

As I look back over my thoughts and impressions of Jesus,
quite often I tend to see him as a perfect man
who lived a perfect life.

When those around him are astounded
He gives the credit to God.
He tells us point-blank that without God he is powerless
so
its easy to see him
as (merely) a human who got it right

Maybe I am picking and choosing
to stress a concept
that was only a small part of his message;
but honestly,
if I look back at how I've reacted to him
it is quite often as an admittedly weak person
looking up at a true leader
who chose the finest course
who did the best work a man can do
a real teacher,
a most excellent role model

but a man.

a man who never strayed from the true path
who maintained his communication/commmunion with God
more perfectly than anyone before or since
a shining example of the highest a man can aspire to.
a man willing to die for what he believed in.
and I still believe all that.

but...

from this perspective
it seems like only small step to one side
to lock in on the frame of mind
that Jesus was JUST a man.

Is that okay?

So far,
thinking of him as a perfect man has been enough for me.
If he did the best a man can do,
and held the truth of God in his heart,
and spent his life sharing the Good News,
and showed examples of God's power working through a life,
and taught more than I could ever comprehend,
everything from "how to pray"
to "how the world will end",
What else do I need?
I can follow that example regardless, right?

When I read this verse in the last chapter

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him,
I am the way, the truth, and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Can this verse be interpreted two different ways?

I can interpet this as a man talking to other men,
saying

"I've shown you the way
I've told you the truth
and my life is a good example
A man can find God by living in a similar way"

even though it is commonly interpreted as
Jesus saying

"I am between you and God,
and your only connection to him is through me,
therefore
I am something more than a mere mortal,
I connect men to God"

Whether he was
Role-Model-Man with a God-centered Life
or
More-Than-Man linking Men to God,
(I might not be able to determine which)
I can still believe that he was
ultimately good
and
profoundly true.

(so far)

but
as I move from chapter 14 into chapter 15
I realize that I'm trapped by the scripture
into a more defined black or white situation
with no wiggle room for gray

John 15:1
I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.
John 15:2
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit,
He takes away.
And every one that bears fruit,
He prunes it so that it may bring forth more fruit.

and again

John 15:5
I am the Vine, you are the branches.
He who abides in Me, and I in him,
the same brings forth much fruit;
for without Me you can do nothing.

Now my Role-Model-Man interpretation doesn't make sense!

With those last two verses,
he is using a very simple elegant analogy
that,
if true,
forces me into the More-Than-Man interpretation.

He is implying that his role is crucial
to my personal fruitfulness

no wiggle room.

And I love how he distinguishes
between the vine and the vinedresser.
As the vine is to branches,
Jesus is to us.
That analogy puts himself in the same world as us.
A physical part of what we are.
The vinedresser is not part of the vine or the branches
and remains outside the physical time/space/matter matrix
it kinda fits.

but if Jesus really said this,
he places himself in a unique relationship with us.
He claims to be more than a prophet or teacher.
He positions himself as the actual source of our fruits.
peace & hope & joy

no gray area there...

-=-=-=-

I have never heard this verse in my life,
but I like it:

15:11
These things have I spoken unto you,
that my joy might remain in you,
and that your joy might be full.
.

John 16

Joh 16:2
They will throw you out of the synagogues.
Yes, an hour is coming when the one who kills you
will think he is serving God!

I always cringe internally when I hear stories of martyrdom.
I'm not sure if this passage is referring to martyrs or not,
but being willing to die a horrbile painful death
for something you believe in
is a devotion that I'm in awe of.
Am I really such a child?

Joh 16:12
I still have a lot to say to you,
but you cannot bear it now.

no kidding?
The apostles have spent all this time with him
following him wherever he goes,
listening to every word straight from the source,
having years to ponder the meaning
and implications,
and still
even after all this time
he has more to say that they aren't ready for?
That boggles me!

He withholds?

I'm really taken by that concept.
that there is more....

Joh 16:7
However, I am telling you the truth.
It is for your advantage that I am going away,
for if I do not go away the Helper will not come to you.
But if I go, I will send him to you.

Joh 16:13
Yet when the Spirit of Truth comes,
he will guide you into all truth.
For he will not speak on his own accord,
but will speak whatever he hears
and will declare to you the things that are to come.
Joh 16:14
He will glorify me,
for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.
Joh 16:15
All that the Father has is mine.
That is why I said,
'He will take what is mine and declare it to you.'

I'm not really writing much today...
How difficult is it to paste scripture into a work
and call it a commentary?
I don't suppose this is a commentary,
I guess I just wanted to record
what I find to be dramatic.

What impresses me today is:
There is a spirit available to teach us.
(or "to guide us into all truth")

The fact that he lays it out for us like this
(in these last three chapters)
and the realization that I believe it,
makes me a Trinitarian.

What is Trinitariansim?

Well, its a word that I just made up, but:

GOD teaches me that existence is possible
outside the physical space/time/matter matrix,
JESUS teaches me that there is life after death,
The SPIRIT teaches me that we are
the temple of the true church.

I pray for truth,
love and communion.

Joh 16:33
I have told you this so that in me you may have peace.
In the world you will have trouble,
but be courageous-
I have overcome the world!"

John 17

This whole chapter is one long prayer.

Another chapter almost entirely in red text!
(half of verse 1 is introductory)

I'm just stunned to learn what Jesus had on his mind
when he announces that "the hour has come".

prayer.

prayer for the people around him -

Joh 17:15
I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world,
but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
Joh 17:16
They are not of the world,
even as I am not of the world.
Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth:
thy word is truth.

and a prayer for people like me -

Joh 17:20
Neither pray I for these alone,
but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
Joh 17:21 That they all may be one; as thou,
Father, art in me,
and I in thee,
that they also may be one in us:
that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
Joh 17:22
And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them;
that they may be one,
even as we are one:

I don't know why that strikes me a certain way
but
I'm happy to be included in an actual prayer
by Jesus himself

we are one.


.

John 18

A play is opening in our town this week
called "Jesus Christ Superstar".

The story is mostly about the relationship between Judas and Jesus
so I feel its a fortunate coincidence (?) this week
that John 18 talks about this,
so I can write about it here.

"Superstar" has really been on my mind lately.

Joh 18:3
So Judas took a detachment of soldiers
and some officers from the high priests and the Pharisees
and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.

I saw Jesus Christ Superstar when I was a teenager,
shown as an evening activity in a drug abuse center.
Although I was raised in the Cathollic church
and attended services regularly until the age of about 16,
it wasn't until this performance
that I began thinking about Jesus as a real living being
who actually walked this planet
without a pillow or possessions
trusting God.

Until that night,
I guess I had been thinking of him
like the most-excellent fairy tale
dressed in pure white
floating through life
exuding sweetness and light
all "bless you my child"
and never breaking a sweat.
A supreme fable with the greatest moral

But "Jesus Christ Superstar" changed that for me.

I saw him differently after that.
I felt realism,
even though it consisted of dancing and rock music
I think the seed that was planted that night
is what grew into my decision to become a christian
twenty years later.

I want other people to have that experience.

I'm so happy that the play has come to our town,
because maybe someone will see him in a different way
and crack the door a little
out of curiosity.

-=-=-=-

Jesus, you promised
that if anyone opened the door
you would come in and abide with him.
I'm asking you to honor that promise
in our little town of Princeton, Illinois
for the next few weeks

I have personally experienced
the power of the story
I've seen you work in my life
I know the change that can happen.

-=-=-=-

Ironically,
I also know of at least one christian
who has worked with the theater festival for many years
who is refusing to participate this year,
because a play is about Jesus.

Jesus Christ Superstar.

Doesn't that seem sadly ironic?
A christian withdrawing
at a time when there's a good chance
that the topic of conversation might be christianity?
At a time when we should be united
to embrace anyone having a personal experience?
At a time when we should be present and available
to new seekers asking questions?
We pick NOW to fade away in discord?
come on...

That makes me sad.

so I want to pray for her, too.

-=-=-=-

I want to pray for everyone who has set you in a box
I want to pray for those who see only a single path to you
I want to pray for those who are fearful
of the wonderous variety of ways you touch people
I want to pray for those who make to difficult
to be one body
with one head.

and of course I want to pray for myself
for the times I've made it difficult
to be one body with one head
I'm a "fringe christian"
and I'll be the first to confess
that my lukewarm life
doesn't shine as a lantern on a hill
I'm weak.

Joh 18:27
Peter again denied it,
and immediately a rooster crowed.

but I can still pray
that you do some miracles this month
in my little town.

amen.

.

John 19

Sometimes I am amazed how different aspects of my life
will dovetail with each other.

I started this "Read the New Testament in a Year" plan
about three or four years ago
(okay, I'm slow...)
And now it just seems more than coincidental
that the play "Jesus Christ Superstar"
which started in our town when I was writing about John 18
closed this week as I am writing about John 19

I saw it several times,
It was quite a wonderful experience
seeing a large part of the town
and the visiting professionals
come together to make this work.
My wife led the children's theater camp
which culminated in a collaboration with JCS.
so, all three of my children performed in it
as well as many other people of the town

Since it had an affect on me as a teenager
(which I wrote about last week)
I couldn't help but wonder if the story was affecting anyone.
Many people simply turned their back on it
and refused to see it based on some principle
that I still don't really understand
(and I'm not certain they do either).
Some of the statements I've heard
could only have come from somewhere else,
somewhere awfully misguided.
Like, for example, just this week I heard someone say
they would never see a play that was a comedy about Jesus.
or one that "made fun" of Jesus.
a comedy? fun?

anyway... for those that DID see it,

I kept hoping I would overhear people talking about it,
but so many of us seem to be in a hurry all the time.
"Stuff to do", ya know?

One of the religious leaders of our town wrote an article
about it in the newspaper that I enjoyed reading,
and I was grateful to get a few moments with a few people.
I really appreciated those times.
During an intermission at the last performance,
a group of girls from last year's high-school theater camp
told me this was their first time seeing it.
They seemed flushed with excitement!
It was thrilling for me to share that moment with them
I was wishing I could invite more and MORE people to see it.

I saw a recording of the New York version this week, too
(not a fanatic, just a fan)
and each new view deepens my own interpretation

This John 19 chapter isn't really about Judas,
but since it shares the same plot with JCS, I gotta say
One thing that struck me this week was this:

If Judas had really believed Jesus was God
or the Son of God,
he wouldn't have taken action.
Only a crazy man would do such a thing.

If you truly believed that a spiritual authority
was about to challenge a social or political authority,
wouldn't you sit back and watch it unfold?
(Maybe distance yourself a little, like Peter?)

The way I see it, if Judas was in his right mind,
he must have believed Jesus was a man who had gone too far.
And if he was a man,
the story of their relationship would end HERE:

Joh 19:30
After Jesus had taken the wine, he said, "It is finished."
Then he bowed his head and released his spirit.

and the end of the story (for Judas)
would be the very last verse of this chapter

Joh 19:42
Because it was the Jewish Preparation Day,
and because the tomb was nearby,
they put Jesus there.

That's the end
(of the play, anyway)
The play
ends
when the human relationship between Judas and Jesus
ends.

but the end-point of the play
is not the point of the play.

To focus on that, is to miss a rich opportunity
to consider the thoughts and feelings of men
who had been following Jesus for years,
in relative peace
with adoring crowds
witnessing miracles
changing lives.

Now they are approaching the Big City
being sucked into the turmoil
with agitated religious leaders
and agitated policemen.

What if your foundation wasn't quite as firm as others?
can you imagine the uncertainty?
Would you fear the outcome?
pain.
death.

again I have the urge to "defend" the performance
for what it was
and how it shook me up.
Jesus can come into people's lives from many directions
and I'm living proof that this play is one of them.

To deny that possibility,
To turn your back on that,
seems absurd to me.

Now I've heard there's more to the story?
Something happens after the crucifixion scene?
Let's find out about that...

.

John 20

This might be the most baffling chapter I've read so far...

It definitely
creates
more questions in my mind than it
resolves.

For example:

Joh 20:1
The first of the sabbaths
Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb,
darkness still being on it,
and she saw the stone taken away from the tomb.
Joh 20:2
Then she ran and came to Simon Peter,
and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved,
and said to them,
They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb,
and we do not know where they have laid Him.

The style of the writing seems odd (I'm no scholar),
but I didn't really catch the phrase "whom Jesus loved"
( also in John 13:23 )
but the commentaries available to me
seem pretty confident in stating
that the disciple who Jesus loved,
was John himself!
The author of this chapter!

Why would he use this third person voice
throughout the whole "tomb" story?

Joh 20:3 ... that other disciple went forth ...
Joh 20:4 ... the other disciple outran Peter ...
Joh 20:5 ... he saw the linens lying, yet he did not go in.
Joh 20:8 ... that other disciple also went in,
the one who came first to the tomb.
And he saw and believed.

Sheesh, is this frustrating to the new reader?
needlessly obtuse?

I'm in no position to criticize
because I don't know enough
to have any idea what it means,
but
wouldn't a First Person Account be more trustworthy?

Why wouldn't he see this as an opportunity
to offer a testimonial?
"I was there"
"I saw this with my own eyes"

Is he worried about his safety or something?

Is he purposely hiding his identity?

Maybe I'm overlooking the beauty of the moment
by focusing on the structure
like missing the forest for the trees
(I'm like that)
ok, I'll move on...

I'll leave the question
and pretend I'm there at the tomb
witnessing the scene
silent
solemn
alert.

-=-=-=-

Joh 20:14
... she turned backward and saw Jesus standing,
but she did not know that it was Jesus.
Joh 20:15
Jesus said to her, Woman, why do you weep?
Whom do you seek?
Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him,
Sir, if you have carried Him away from here,
tell me where you have laid Him
and I will take Him away.

This isn't the first time I've read that
she confused him with the gardener.
In my schoolboy mind
I supposed she didn't recognize him
because he looked so different resurrected
glowing in splendor
radiant in white
beaming goodness and peace

but now that I'm imagining being there
with my slightly more discerning mind,
I realize how foolish my mental picture has been.

I don't think much radiating and beaming was going on
Otherwise, she would have perceived him
as SOMETHING other than the plain old gardener.

This brings me to my second question about this chapter:
Was she grieving so much
that she had no perception of her surroundings?
or did Jesus' resurrection body
look so different that he was no longer recognizable?

I haven't attended too many funerals,
but I've been in a state where the world closes in
I've been overwhelmed enough
to not be keen to my surroundings
and I can imagine standing outside of a tomb
weeping,
and not recognizing ANYONE around me.

Is that what it was?
Or will we look so different in the next life
that our family and friends will have to be re-introduced???

dunno.

-=-=-=-

Third question:

compare

Joh 20:17
Jesus said to her,
Do not touch Me,
for I have not yet ascended to My Father.

with

Joh 20:27
Then He said to Thomas,
Reach your finger here and behold My hands;
and reach your hand here and thrust it into My side;
and do not be unbelieving, but believing.

Touch me? Don't Touch Me?
Did he ascend in-between there?
and come back?
Or is there something else going on there?

-=-=-=-

Bafflement the Fourth:
(relative of The Second)
Concerning Bodies

Joh 20:27
Then He said to Thomas,
Reach your finger here and behold My hands;
and reach your hand here and thrust it into My side;
and do not be unbelieving, but believing.

I try to teach my children,
that the physical world is a matrix
to support the development of a new soul.
That our bodies are temporary containers,
a womb for our selves to develop in
before entering the next life.
When the time comes we will cast off our suits of flesh
We will leave the structure behind.

I enjoy that thought, but question the accuracy of it.
Jesus has his wounds?
Did he HAVE to inhabit a body to be among the disciples?
(Maybe that is a requirement for being here.
No ghosts without some in-betweener kind of body.)

Did Jesus eventually leave that one behind too?
I don't think the scripture supports that.

Didn't witnesses see the whole thing ascending?
no leftovers?

I don't understand it.

Are we gonna have these scars for eternity?

-=-=-=-

Joh 20:31
But these are written so that you might believe
that Jesus is the Christ,
the Son of God,
and that believing you might have life in His name.

This chapter is beautiful.

(and baffling)

Jesus is life.

(and questions arose from the dead)


.

John 21

Well, it's Easter 2009
and
I've reached the end of the Gospel!

What should have been week 20
in my 1-year New Testament plan
is now about five years late!
Is that pathetic?

It might be interesting to predict the date
when I finish The Revelation at this pace,
but I would probably over-estimate my progress!
ha.
(I should have called it "The Ten Year Plan")

This chapter starts with an unsuccessful night of fishing,
followed by some direction by Jesus,
followed by a huge catch.

Joh 21:3
Simon Peter said to them, I am going out to fish.
They said to him, We will go with you also.
They went out and entered into a boat immediately.
And that night they caught nothing.

Joh 21:5
Then Jesus said to them,
Children, do you have anything to eat?
They answered Him, No.
Joh 21:6
And He said to them,
Cast the net on the right side of the boat and you will find.
Therefore they cast,
and now they no longer had the strength to draw,
from the multitude of fish.

Is this just a history?
Or
is the miracle of good fishing directions significant to us?
Or
is it the analogy to fishing that we should pay attention to?
If so, it seems to imply that
"we are bad fishermen without his direction"
Is that too much assumption?
More than the text warrants?
maybe so.

Maybe we are meant to fish,
Maybe it is HE who does the fishing
Maybe its just the story of The Last Breakfast

I'm fuzzy on how to interpret this.

During breakfast he gives Simon four instructions
1) Feed My Lambs
2) Feed My Sheep
3) Feed My Sheep
4) Follow Me

Hmmm, that seem rather weighted towards sheparding,
wouldn't you agree?

Are we to take this as instructions to all of us?
Or is it particular to Peter?

I'm fuzzy on how to interpret this, too.

When I read in a previous chapter (John 4:37)
"one sows and another reaps",
I applied it to sowing the good news,
and reaping people into the body of christ.
In other words,
I took it as more than a lesson about crops.

Why do I care about the true meaning of this chapter
involving
fishing
and
sheep?

Because, now that he is gone,
I'm not sure what is expected of me .
Am I supposed to fish?
Does he need MY sheparding skills?
I almost hope the answer is a definitive
NO.

but...
I suspect it may not be.

This reminds me of a recent evening with friends.
During dinner one of them exclaimed,
"Well, I just don't believe in ANYTHING".

Is that an opening for an interesting discussion, or what?
Well, I TOOK IT as an open invitation,
but it didn't go so well.

From my experience,
people don't make such bold statements
without something behind it,
some history that has driven them to
reject rather than embrace.
anyway,
I flat-out didn't believe her
and attempted to call her on it.
I took it as a challenge.
I set out to prove to her that, surely,
she must believe in SOMETHING.

So I began a long drawn-out lecture
leading up to my goal
of convincing her that even without faith,
she still couldn't deny that there was both
GOOD
and
EVIL
in the world

right?

Can anyone honestly say they don't see both
real good and real bad in the world?

So I started to prove to her
that she really believed in good and evil
As I was blabbing on and on
leading up to the point,
I became very self-conscious.
I realized that she had made a simple statement
about herself,
and not invited my response at all.

Was it a plea for help?
no. (I really don't think so)

Was she hoping someone would change her mind?
no. (I really don't think so)

So why did I feel so compelled to challenge it?
Why can't I let someone reside in their own beliefs
even if they differ from mine?
Are we SUPPOSED to try to sway each other
into seeing our own view?

Some of these fishing attempts are disastrous.
Some of the fishing kept me away for a LONG TIME.
Should we leave the fishing to Him?

I just don't know.

but I do know this;
my own attempts have made me very nervous.

I think this chapter implies more than just
fishing and sheparding,
but I'm not sure how.

I do think it is a fitting end to the gospels, though!
A wonderful ending!
He knows he cannot remain with them,
He stresses that the sheep need feeding,
and his final message is
"Follow Me"

The meaning of that
seems indisputable and universal.

If He were here with me this moment,
wouldn't He give me the same message?

-=-=-=-

And finally, the very last thought of the gospel,

Joh 21:25
And there are also many other things which Jesus did,
which if they should be written every one,
I suppose that even the world itself
would not contain the books that should be written.

wow.

What an awesome bridge from then to now.
Millions and millions of people
have their own stories about what Jesus has done.

thank God.


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