John 12
(Here's a personal note
pertaining to "life in general"
as of FEB2007)
To anyone paying attention,
it will be glaringly obvious
that I have spent an entire year
on the last five chapters.
If the current rate of slowdown continues,
it will be at least a thousand years
until I finish the New Testament,
and the amount of time needed for the Old Testament
is incalculable.
but Fear not, there is good news!
I have NOT spent the entire year on these five chapters...
In fact, I've spent hardly any time at all on them!
Why, I could pick this project up again
and crank through a few chapters a week
and be done by Christmas!
so, Where have I been?
I dunno....
Here's what I tell myself:
That,
by not creating a lot of schedules
I'm leaving myself free to be affected by God's will
by not creating a lot of rules for myself
I'll be more available to be blown into
whatever He has in store for me.
by not settling into a mainsteam dogma
I'll be more open to change.
by giving myself a lot of time
to do what I know I should do
I'm deepening my experience.
The pace isn't important, is it?
So I've been floating pleasantly at my own pace for quite awhile...
and notice I haven't gone very far.
In fact, is it even possible
that I could have drifted BACKWARDS a little bit?
One reason I can speculate on this,
is that I can look back
and read what I was writing two years ago,
and I seemed deeper back THEN.
Maybe that is the real value of this "blabbing on the bible" project.
I can look back.
The author of this one doesn't even seem like me now
http://www.frontdoor.biz/theolsons/Jack/JaxFaith/WithGod.htm
but its me.
I can remember back a lot better
by reviewing things I've written.
I've built up a little history here.
and the evidence shows
that something happened to me.
I'm not sure I've really deepened at all.
Have I shallowed?
Is shallowing when I lose my grip on reality?
and by losing "reality" I mean
my tendency to lose awareness of the fact
that this brief spark of a lifetime
is not all there is to eternity.
and I sink into the fog
of scrabbling for selfish pleasure;
wanting only to take from the world what feels good.
madness.
I usually pray to be more thankful.
to be more appreciative of all the blessings in my life
whether I feel I deserve them or not.
but today I have the urge for a new prayer.
I pray
to stray not too far from the path
yet still feel the reality of true freedom.
I pray
that I will freely choose to spend my time
on meaningful activities.
I pray
to overcome my laziness
and my constant pursuit of comfort.
I pray
to at least get back to the way I USED to be.
sad as that sounds.
.
(Here's another personal note
pertaining to "life in general"
as of DEC2007)
It's been another ten months now...
What the H*** is going on?
(hell)
Maybe that's not too far from the truth.
hell has been going on,
or whatever the appropriate word is
for drifting away from what you love.
Why do I do that?
I was thinking about this while driving
and when I pulled over, I wrote this:
-=-=-
It makes me wonder
when I realize,
there are big gaps of time
where I don't write.
Why Is That?
Even when I have realized
the benefits of keeping a journal,
I can't seem to maintain it
for very long.
Why Is That?
Last night I caught myself blurting out
"I don't want to talk about anything
unless it is Physics or Philosophy!"
When my friend called me out and replied,
"What do you want to talk about, Decartes?"
I was tired and wanted to go home.
I felt foolish about blurting out,
and then not being ready to truly participate.
But it got me thinking...
It got me wondering about thinking,
and that got me thinking about wondering.
It seems like I get too caught up in daily events
to spend much time finding meaning in them.
Maybe it sounds trite to say,
"I want everything to have a meaning"
but when I step out of the daily grind
I feel more human.
Do animals ever step out of the moment
to reflect on things?
Why Is The Sky Blue?
Is that what separates us from other life forms?
The capacity to wonder?
If so, I should strive for a sense of wonder,
to be more intensely human.
Maybe I should orchestrate ways
to make my life
more wonder-full
-=-=-=-
Ok, this place is not meant to be my personal diary,
so now I return to
reading and recording,
chapter by chapter... 01/01/08
John 12
I just read chapter 12 again,
after being away for so long.
The story up to verse 20 is one I've heard before
all my life
and in every gospel and
I don't really have a comment on it.
I could try to write passionately
about this triumphal entry,
and all the faithful hopes and prophecies
being fulfilled in this pinnacle week
I could write about that
(and maybe someday I will)
but what hits me the hardest
is the second half of the chapter
where Jesus really seems to be summing up
his entire message
I wanted to make sure I understood it
so I went to a "Harmony of the Gospels"
to compare.
http://jaxpage.net/JaxFaith/Harmony/c11i.html#ss01
Well, none of this scripture (past verse 19)
appears in any other gospel!
So, what we see here is what we get.
(side note)
That makes me wonder...
Did John hear things that other disciples didn't?
I mean, certainly they weren't
ALL together
ALL the time.
So I suppose each disciple
would have a slightly different experience.
and even with common experiences
would have slightly different interpretations
of the significance of each experience.
Wouldn't you think?
Sometimes the disciples seem clueless
about the significance,
at least until later on with the benefit of hindsight.
I wonder...
If each disciple had written a gospel account
how different would they be?
I wonder...
(end side note)
But right here in this section of chapter 12,
there are lots of "red" sentences.
and they seem pretty important.
like, REALLY important.
Joh 12:36
While you have the Light,
believe in the Light
so that you may become sons of Light...
and a "truly truly"
Joh 12:24
Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,
it abides alone;
but if it dies,
it brings forth much fruit.
We're getting "voices from heaven"
Joh 12:28
Father, glorify Your name!
Then there came a voice from the heaven saying,
I have both glorified it
and will glorify it again.
and Jesus speaking LOUDLY
Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.
I looked up the word for "cried"
to find that #2896 means scream, shriek, exclaim, cry out
This is powerful stuff!
You know what?
If Jesus meant this so much
that he would cry it out to the world,
maybe it is worth repeating, huh?
I could certainly devote enough space to repeat it.
HERE IS WHAT HE IS SCREAMING OUT TO YOU:
Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried out and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.
Joh 12:45
And he who sees Me
sees Him who sent Me.
Joh 12:46
I have come as a Light into the world,
so that whoever believes on Me
should not remain in darkness.
Joh 12:47
And if any one hears My Words
and does not believe,
I do not judge him,
for I do not come to judge the world,
but to save the world.
Joh 12:48
He who rejects Me
and does not receive My Words
has one who judges him;
the Word that I have spoken,
the same shall judge him in the last day.
Joh 12:49
For I have not spoken of Myself,
but the Father who sent Me
gave Me a command,
what I should say,
and what I should speak.
Joh 12:50
And I know that His command
is life everlasting.
Therefore whatever I speak,
even as the Father said to Me,
so I speak.
wow.
.
pertaining to "life in general"
as of FEB2007)
To anyone paying attention,
it will be glaringly obvious
that I have spent an entire year
on the last five chapters.
If the current rate of slowdown continues,
it will be at least a thousand years
until I finish the New Testament,
and the amount of time needed for the Old Testament
is incalculable.
but Fear not, there is good news!
I have NOT spent the entire year on these five chapters...
In fact, I've spent hardly any time at all on them!
Why, I could pick this project up again
and crank through a few chapters a week
and be done by Christmas!
so, Where have I been?
I dunno....
Here's what I tell myself:
That,
by not creating a lot of schedules
I'm leaving myself free to be affected by God's will
by not creating a lot of rules for myself
I'll be more available to be blown into
whatever He has in store for me.
by not settling into a mainsteam dogma
I'll be more open to change.
by giving myself a lot of time
to do what I know I should do
I'm deepening my experience.
The pace isn't important, is it?
So I've been floating pleasantly at my own pace for quite awhile...
and notice I haven't gone very far.
In fact, is it even possible
that I could have drifted BACKWARDS a little bit?
One reason I can speculate on this,
is that I can look back
and read what I was writing two years ago,
and I seemed deeper back THEN.
Maybe that is the real value of this "blabbing on the bible" project.
I can look back.
The author of this one doesn't even seem like me now
http://www.frontdoor.biz/theolsons/Jack/JaxFaith/WithGod.htm
but its me.
I can remember back a lot better
by reviewing things I've written.
I've built up a little history here.
and the evidence shows
that something happened to me.
I'm not sure I've really deepened at all.
Have I shallowed?
Is shallowing when I lose my grip on reality?
and by losing "reality" I mean
my tendency to lose awareness of the fact
that this brief spark of a lifetime
is not all there is to eternity.
and I sink into the fog
of scrabbling for selfish pleasure;
wanting only to take from the world what feels good.
madness.
I usually pray to be more thankful.
to be more appreciative of all the blessings in my life
whether I feel I deserve them or not.
but today I have the urge for a new prayer.
I pray
to stray not too far from the path
yet still feel the reality of true freedom.
I pray
that I will freely choose to spend my time
on meaningful activities.
I pray
to overcome my laziness
and my constant pursuit of comfort.
I pray
to at least get back to the way I USED to be.
sad as that sounds.
.
(Here's another personal note
pertaining to "life in general"
as of DEC2007)
It's been another ten months now...
What the H*** is going on?
(hell)
Maybe that's not too far from the truth.
hell has been going on,
or whatever the appropriate word is
for drifting away from what you love.
Why do I do that?
I was thinking about this while driving
and when I pulled over, I wrote this:
-=-=-
It makes me wonder
when I realize,
there are big gaps of time
where I don't write.
Why Is That?
Even when I have realized
the benefits of keeping a journal,
I can't seem to maintain it
for very long.
Why Is That?
Last night I caught myself blurting out
"I don't want to talk about anything
unless it is Physics or Philosophy!"
When my friend called me out and replied,
"What do you want to talk about, Decartes?"
I was tired and wanted to go home.
I felt foolish about blurting out,
and then not being ready to truly participate.
But it got me thinking...
It got me wondering about thinking,
and that got me thinking about wondering.
It seems like I get too caught up in daily events
to spend much time finding meaning in them.
Maybe it sounds trite to say,
"I want everything to have a meaning"
but when I step out of the daily grind
I feel more human.
Do animals ever step out of the moment
to reflect on things?
Why Is The Sky Blue?
Is that what separates us from other life forms?
The capacity to wonder?
If so, I should strive for a sense of wonder,
to be more intensely human.
Maybe I should orchestrate ways
to make my life
more wonder-full
-=-=-=-
Ok, this place is not meant to be my personal diary,
so now I return to
reading and recording,
chapter by chapter... 01/01/08
John 12
I just read chapter 12 again,
after being away for so long.
The story up to verse 20 is one I've heard before
all my life
and in every gospel and
I don't really have a comment on it.
I could try to write passionately
about this triumphal entry,
and all the faithful hopes and prophecies
being fulfilled in this pinnacle week
I could write about that
(and maybe someday I will)
but what hits me the hardest
is the second half of the chapter
where Jesus really seems to be summing up
his entire message
I wanted to make sure I understood it
so I went to a "Harmony of the Gospels"
to compare.
http://jaxpage.net/JaxFaith/Harmony/c11i.html#ss01
Well, none of this scripture (past verse 19)
appears in any other gospel!
So, what we see here is what we get.
(side note)
That makes me wonder...
Did John hear things that other disciples didn't?
I mean, certainly they weren't
ALL together
ALL the time.
So I suppose each disciple
would have a slightly different experience.
and even with common experiences
would have slightly different interpretations
of the significance of each experience.
Wouldn't you think?
Sometimes the disciples seem clueless
about the significance,
at least until later on with the benefit of hindsight.
I wonder...
If each disciple had written a gospel account
how different would they be?
I wonder...
(end side note)
But right here in this section of chapter 12,
there are lots of "red" sentences.
and they seem pretty important.
like, REALLY important.
Joh 12:36
While you have the Light,
believe in the Light
so that you may become sons of Light...
and a "truly truly"
Joh 12:24
Truly, truly, I say to you,
Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,
it abides alone;
but if it dies,
it brings forth much fruit.
We're getting "voices from heaven"
Joh 12:28
Father, glorify Your name!
Then there came a voice from the heaven saying,
I have both glorified it
and will glorify it again.
and Jesus speaking LOUDLY
Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.
I looked up the word for "cried"
to find that #2896 means scream, shriek, exclaim, cry out
This is powerful stuff!
You know what?
If Jesus meant this so much
that he would cry it out to the world,
maybe it is worth repeating, huh?
I could certainly devote enough space to repeat it.
HERE IS WHAT HE IS SCREAMING OUT TO YOU:
Joh 12:44
But Jesus cried out and said,
He who believes on Me
does not believe on Me
but on Him who sent Me.
Joh 12:45
And he who sees Me
sees Him who sent Me.
Joh 12:46
I have come as a Light into the world,
so that whoever believes on Me
should not remain in darkness.
Joh 12:47
And if any one hears My Words
and does not believe,
I do not judge him,
for I do not come to judge the world,
but to save the world.
Joh 12:48
He who rejects Me
and does not receive My Words
has one who judges him;
the Word that I have spoken,
the same shall judge him in the last day.
Joh 12:49
For I have not spoken of Myself,
but the Father who sent Me
gave Me a command,
what I should say,
and what I should speak.
Joh 12:50
And I know that His command
is life everlasting.
Therefore whatever I speak,
even as the Father said to Me,
so I speak.
wow.
.